Monday, March 7, 2011

A Little Bit About Myself and Monday Weigh In

First for the weigh in...
I could blame TOM again, but I'm gonna take the blame this time... I just haven't been eating well lately, the other night I tried to think back to remember if I'd had any fruit or veggies that day. None!
This afternoon I went shopping and my cart was brimming with good food to eat!
I will do better!
Beginning weight:      279 lbs
Last week's weight:  251.9 lbs
Today's weight:        253.9 lbs

Aaaaggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! 2 lbs gain!
Hate it, but I think that gave me the wake up call I needed this morning!
I went to gym class tonight and my thighs are killing me! Tomorrow will be a rest day, but Wednesday, I will do one of my exercise dvd's or go for a run.

I had prepared this next part of my post last week but didn't finish it, so I decided to save it and publish it today.

Here goes...

Four years ago our youngest son was born. By the time he turned 2, I knew he’d be more challenging to discipline than our other three kids! And I was right!

But lately he has been such a fun little guy! He told my mom at the dinner table that she  should have a beer…  “so that you won’t die”  I wondered if he had ever heard anyone say…”One beer won’t kill you.”
But that’s not what I wanted to talk about!
When my husband and I first got married, he was in University, studying to be a Vet. I was 24 and he was 25. We were far from home, and I couldn’t get a regular job (political stuff here in my country). I taught English as a Second Language, I sold baked goods, I watched a lot of TV, I volunteered in church and I longed for a child.
I weighed about 190lbs at the time.
After about 4 years (and 2 of those trying to get pregnant) we saw a specialist, and to make a long story short, I got pregnant after 2 months on fertility medication. I was so happy! And I could hardly believe it!  Well, after being on cloud nine for 6 weeks, my bubble burst. I miscarried. Again, I could hardly believe it.
My husband and I always wanted a big family. At least 4 – 6 children! At least! But I felt as though God was punishing me. Why would he get my hopes up so high only to dash them down again? I really couldn’t understand.
One day as my husband and I were talking, I finally came to the point where I could say to him. “God has blessed me with you. If that is as big as our family will ever get, it is enough.”
Please don‘t think I was never bitter or hopeful again, but I had to tell myself this every day. I had to walk through this struggle to find a certain peace about what God was doing in our lives.
Well, my husband finished Vet school by now and we moved back home only days after my miscarriage.
I went back on some meds and eventually got pregnant again. This time there was not so much excitement on my part but rather fear. I was so scared that I would lose my baby again.
Nine months later (and 10 days overdue) our first daughter, Nicole,  was born via C-section. Light of my life! Still is – 10 and a half years later.
When Nicole turned 1, I was 4 weeks pregnant with our second daughter. Tonight,  I went to a parent teacher meeting at her school. The picture Raquel drew for me to take home after the meeting said it all! She drew a little girl and the little girls T-shirt said “Drama Queen!”
Almost 3 years later Esteban (Stevie) joined us. He is such a charmer. He won’t give me a kiss good-bye in front of his friends at school, but he’ll cuddle in my lap when I wake him in the morning. And he does not mind giving or getting a kiss when no one is looking!
Yesterday we celebrated Josephs 4th birthday! He was born 2 years after Stevie.
Our first three were born via scheduled C-section. Joseph was scheduled for a C-section but I was showing signs of pre-eclampsia so they did an emergency C-section 4 days earlier.
I weighed 262lbs at the peak of my pregnancy with him! And then steadily gained more til I hit 279lbs.
Between our first and last child I kept telling myself, I’ll lose weight after we have our last baby. At least then I won’t gain anymore  due to pregnancies.
I did not realize that I was making my pregnancies, and my life,  much harder for myself, being as heavy as I was. Denial? Yeah, probably that too.  I did not know that I even put my son’s life in danger when I developed high blood pressure a few days before he was born, probably also as a result of my obesity.
Today I weigh 252 lbs.
I do not want to be this weight any longer. My excuses have expired! My kids have all been born. Now I need to be healthy for them – for me.
No more excuses!
Casey

5 comments:

  1. I can tell that you LOVE being a mom! How much more do they mean when you worked and prayed so hard to bring them down!! I totally relate to that with my kids. I love how you are taking action NOW to prolong your life for them and for yourself. Persistence is the key. We can't change our decisions from the past, but just learn from them and move forward. The future is BRIGHTER than our past. You have your whole life in front of you! :)

    ~Margene

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  2. Great post! I'm so happy that things worked out and you were blessed with children. :)

    Don't worry about those 2 lbs- it sounds like you have the right attitude and know why you want to lose the weight- not for superficial reasons, but to be there for your kids! You can do it! :)

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  3. Alissa is right, attitude is everything. I gained 2 lbs this last week too...beat myself up a bit, and did exactly what you did - went to the market, bought good food, and it's a new day. Hang in there.

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  4. YEAH!!!! It's that turning point we all find when it's time. Family is so worth it but you know what, YOUR WORTH IT!!!
    Do what you need to do, take care of yourself and lose some weight. I know you can do it, I have faith in you.
    Take care my friend and God Bless!!

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  5. I am so proud of you! I love you and each and every one of your kids are very special to me. Nicky with her sweet attitude and freckles, Raquel with her theatrical charm, Stevie with his loving smile and of course Joseph wormed his way into my heart as soon as I saw his chin dimple! Big hugs to you sis! (Finnegan)

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