A Little Bit About Myself and Monday Weigh In

First for the weigh in...
I could blame TOM again, but I'm gonna take the blame this time... I just haven't been eating well lately, the other night I tried to think back to remember if I'd had any fruit or veggies that day. None!
This afternoon I went shopping and my cart was brimming with good food to eat!
I will do better!
Beginning weight:      279 lbs
Last week's weight:  251.9 lbs
Today's weight:        253.9 lbs

Aaaaggggghhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! 2 lbs gain!
Hate it, but I think that gave me the wake up call I needed this morning!
I went to gym class tonight and my thighs are killing me! Tomorrow will be a rest day, but Wednesday, I will do one of my exercise dvd's or go for a run.

I had prepared this next part of my post last week but didn't finish it, so I decided to save it and publish it today.

Here goes...

Four years ago our youngest son was born. By the time he turned 2, I knew he’d be more challenging to discipline than our other three kids! And I was right!

But lately he has been such a fun little guy! He told my mom at the dinner table that she  should have a beer…  “so that you won’t die”  I wondered if he had ever heard anyone say…”One beer won’t kill you.”

But that’s not what I wanted to talk about!

When my husband and I first got married, he was in University, studying to be a Vet. I was 24 and he was 25. We were far from home, and I couldn’t get a regular job (political stuff here in my country). I taught English as a Second Language, I sold baked goods, I watched a lot of TV, I volunteered in church and I longed for a child.

I weighed about 190lbs at the time.

After about 4 years (and 2 of those trying to get pregnant) we saw a specialist, and to make a long story short, I got pregnant after 2 months on fertility medication. I was so happy! And I could hardly believe it!  Well, after being on cloud nine for 6 weeks, my bubble burst. I miscarried. Again, I could hardly believe it.

My husband and I always wanted a big family. At least 4 – 6 children! At least! But I felt as though God was punishing me. Why would he get my hopes up so high only to dash them down again? I really couldn’t understand.

One day as my husband and I were talking, I finally came to the point where I could say to him. “God has blessed me with you. If that is as big as our family will ever get, it is enough.”

Please don‘t think I was never bitter or hopeful again, but I had to tell myself this every day. I had to walk through this struggle to find a certain peace about what God was doing in our lives.

Well, my husband finished Vet school by now and we moved back home only days after my miscarriage.

I went back on some meds and eventually got pregnant again. This time there was not so much excitement on my part but rather fear. I was so scared that I would lose my baby again.

Nine months later (and 10 days overdue) our first daughter, Nicole,  was born via C-section. Light of my life! Still is – 10 and a half years later.

When Nicole turned 1, I was 4 weeks pregnant with our second daughter. Tonight,  I went to a parent teacher meeting at her school. The picture Raquel drew for me to take home after the meeting said it all! She drew a little girl and the little girls T-shirt said “Drama Queen!”

Almost 3 years later Esteban (Stevie) joined us. He is such a charmer. He won’t give me a kiss good-bye in front of his friends at school, but he’ll cuddle in my lap when I wake him in the morning. And he does not mind giving or getting a kiss when no one is looking!

Yesterday we celebrated Josephs 4^th birthday! He was born 2 years after Stevie.

Our first three were born via scheduled C-section. Joseph was scheduled for a C-section but I was showing signs of pre-eclampsia so they did an emergency C-section 4 days earlier.

I weighed 262lbs at the peak of my pregnancy with him! And then steadily gained more til I hit 279lbs.

Between our first and last child I kept telling myself, I’ll lose weight after we have our last baby. At least then I won’t gain anymore  due to pregnancies.

I did not realize that I was making my pregnancies, and my life,  much harder for myself, being as heavy as I was. Denial? Yeah, probably that too.  I did not know that I even put my son’s life in danger when I developed high blood pressure a few days before he was born, probably also as a result of my obesity.

Today I weigh 252 lbs.

I do not want to be this weight any longer. My excuses have expired! My kids have all been born. Now I need to be healthy for them – for me.

No more excuses!

Casey